Oxygen
by blessie15
Summary: Harry's getting married to Ginny and Hermione's moving to an undisclosed location. Yet a single letter changes every plan Harry has made for his whole life...Just read it...im not great at summaries...
1. Chapter 1

**At Hogwarts**

"Harry, I found this beside your bed this morning"

"What is it Ron?" asked Harry

Ron sighed and handed Harry the letter "I think it's from Hermione…just read it…"

"Oh okay…Is she here?"

"Errr…I don't think she'll be able to make it."

Harry stood up and yelled "What?"

"Look Harry, she said in her letter to me that I'm not supposed to give this to you 'til after the wedding…but I feel that this is something you should read before the wedding"

Harry looked bewildered and confused as he sat down, opened the letter and read silently.

_Dearest Harry,_

_I guess I'd like to start this letter with an apology. I truly am sorry for turning down Ginny's offer of becoming her maid of honor and not being present there at the wedding. Hopefully, when you're reading this, the wedding would have already been finished. Oh, Harry…you must know how happy I am for you. Of all the people I know, you deserve the kind of happiness you'll have with Ginny. You have to understand, all I wanted was for you to be happy and I saw that every single moment you were with Ginny. Even during our search for the horcruxes, I knew that what kept you going was the thought of having a life with her and keeping those you love safe. I'm trying to explain…I'm trying to explain how I'm not present at your wedding. You see Harry, my whole world revolved around you and Ron for a very long time. I'm afraid that along the way I forgot about myself, I forgot to put myself ahead all of you. It might seem selfish and irrational to you, but I do believe that there should be moments when I should learn to care for myself. After all, who would take care of me? I only have me in this world now. Yes, I still have you and Ron, but somehow you both are lost to me now. Ron has Luna and you have Ginny. Ever since my parents died, every day I questioned my existence and my worth. I've always felt that you and Ron will always need me, and that was what kept me going. It was what made living without my parents bearable. Honestly…I feel as if this letter is going nowhere but a lot farther from the truth. As if my brain is refusing to comprehend what my heart is dictating to me. You see Harry…when Ron got together with Luna, it didn't break my heart. When he proposed to Luna, I actually felt relieved that somehow the pressure of every one wanting us to be together was lifted…That day I actually felt I could breathe. As if everyone realized I'm me, Hermione Granger. Not Ron's future wife…not his destined soul mate. It was like pieces of myself were returned to me, like I was my own person again. But then, you and Ginny decided to get married also…and all I could think of was that I needed air. I apparated back to my flat the moment Ginny said yes to your proposal. I couldn't breathe; it felt as if someone was choking me. I know I'm not explaining things very well, but that's exactly what I felt that moment. I saw all the memories I had of you flashed before me and it was so much worse than what I felt when I found out my parents were killed by death eaters. I'm horrible, aren't I? For feeling that way I mean. I should be happy for you, you deserve it. But I didn't, I actually wanted to shake you and punch you and shout and tell you exactly what I felt. It was so devastating to finally realize that the one person who defined my whole existence felt that same way, but for another girl. I love you Harry, with every fiber of my being. It's not the love at first type of love nor is the fluttering school girl infatuation that I thought it. It was self destructive of me to continue loving you, so I decided last night that maybe it is time to find myself again. Discover who I am and who I can be without you. I saw you as you read your speech during the rehearsal dinner last night and realized that no matter how I tried to make you love me the way that I love you would be fruitless. So you see Harry, I couldn't be at your wedding. I couldn't be there to hear you say the words I long to hear, to another girl…to my only other friend aside you and Ron. I feel wretched and atrocious to love you this way when I was there for every moment you and Ginny celebrated your anniversary and for being there in helping you get through all your problems. Most of all I feel this awful because the Weasleys have treated me as one of their own and yet here I am longing for you. It just feels so wrong on my part to love you obsessively…everything feels so wrong right now. I'm lost Harry….and I hope someday I'll be able to find my way back to you and Ron…to everyone. Please don't hate me Harry…Please, give me a chance to explain everything properly…When I've healed…when I've gotten over you. I know it's cowardly of me to run away, but this was my only solution. Do not worry about me, I'm perfectly safe. I've accepted a job offer from the Ministry of Magic. I can't tell you much about it, only that I'll be away for quite sometime. I honestly don't know for how long…but know that wherever I am, you and Ron will be with me. I love you Harry, no matter how wrong it is to love you… I still do and I'm afraid that I wont get over you…but I promise…I'll try my very best to relieve myself of this foolishness. Be happy, live your life the way you've always wanted to._

_Always and Forever,_

_Hermione_

**Somewhere in England**

"Ready to go Granger?"

"Ready when you are Malfoy"

Draco looked at Hermione worriedly and asked "Are you sure about this Hermione?"

Hermione took a deep breathe and shook her left to right "To hell with it Draco, I think it's high time I get over Harry don't you think?"

"No actually…you should have faced him instead of running away and accepting this bloody assignment"

"I didn't know you were opposed to this"

"Damn Granger, you know that the only reason I accepted this was because you said yes"

Hermione extended her hand to Draco and smiled "Thanks…Thank you for caring. But you don't have to do anything for me"

Draco took her hand and tugged her closer "I'm counting to five Granger…Its okay to change your mind…One"

Hermione smiled sadly and said "Five"

With that, Hermione Granger finally said goodbye to her home and closed her eyes, relaxing in Draco Malfoy's arms with tears streaming down and whispered softly "Goodbye Harry"

**Back at Hogwarts**

"I never knew…I swear to God, I never knew" Harry said while holding the letter close to his heart

"I'm sorry mate…I suspected, but whenever I tried to talk to her about it she just kept changing the subject…."

"Where could she be? Where the hell is she going?" Harry said removing his glasses and kneading the bridge of his nose.

"She didn't say anything in her letter to me…but Harry…the wedding…its about to start in 2 hours…what are we going to do?" Ron asked. "Are you still going to through with it?"

"Ron….I…I love Ginny"

"I know Harry. But I want you to be sure; I want you to have no doubts."

Harry smiled sadly as he brushed the tears away from his eyes "I have to find her Ron, I don't think I'll be able to figure things out without her"

"Harry, I don't want you to marry Ginny, when you're not sure that you're not in love with Hermione…I've always thought that a part of you will always be in love with her, just like a part of me will always be in love with her"

"You're in love with Hermione?"

"I'll always be in love with her…no matter what. But what I have with Luna, it goes beyond every emotion that I've known…its as if the word love holds too many boundaries and it isn't exactly enough to define what I have with her" Ron said looking at his wedding ring. "Is that what you feel for Ginny?"

"I don't think so Ron…"said a soft voice beside the door

"Ginny…" Harry looked at Ginny and pushing himself off the chair seated her at where he sat moments before.

"I'm sorry Harry….I knew she was in love with you but she kept pushing us together that eventually I convinced myself that we were truly in love" Ginny took a deep breathe and said "What Ron described…its something you feel for Hermione isn't it? In all honesty Harry, that isn't exactly what I feel for you"

Harry laughed and asked "Then why in Merlin's beard are we getting married?"

"Because you're a damned blind fool Harry Potter and if you have any sense you'll go ask the bloody minister of magic where exactly, Hermione is going" Luna said while wrapping her arms to her husband's.

"I guess we got carried away...with everyone telling us that we were meant to be and we felt obligated to give everyone a happy ending, especially during the times when we had to rebuild the magical community."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay Ginny?" Harry asked whilst grasping her hand.

"I'm gonna be fine Harry…Go, go find her and bring her back" Ginny said while wiping her own tears.

Harry stood and ran to the great hall. Ginny smiled and said "I hope he finds her"

Ron sat beside her and hugged her tightly "You do love the idiot don't you? I mean…you wouldn't have gone through all of this if you didn't?"

"I do…but were not in love anymore Ron…not the way he's in love with Hermione and she with him"

Ron kissed her forehead and pulled her to her feet. "Hmmm…we really have to go. Harry might have already caused a riot"

"Oh no…the guests"

"It'll be okay Gin, we have plenty of food and enough to distract them while Harry finds Hermione" Luna said patting Ginny on the back soothingly.

"I hope he gets to wherever she is…I really do hope he isnt too late"


	2. Chapter 2

_**5 years later**_

"Sweetie, you really shouldn't play with that." Hermione said. Looking at her son and smiling helplessly as the little boy with soft platinum blonde hair padded across their home.

"Dada" said Alexander pointing to a picture of his father atop a table.

"Oh, Alex…you're getting smarter everyday" whispered Hermione while bending down to pick up her son and cuddling him. Hermione sadly looked at her husband's framed picture. "Daddy, would have been so proud of you…hmmm…he is proud of you."

"Hermione dear, I'm afraid someone learned of your return to London." Narcissa said, handing the Daily Prophet to her daughter in law.

"Oh no…" Staring down at the paper in her hands Hermione read the headline out loud "_Draco Malfoy's wife and heroine Hermione Granger Malfoy returns to London after 5 years of absence_…Its hard enough as it is, explaining to everyone where I've gone to, much more now that they know about me and Draco"

"I'm sure your friends would understand…" Narcissa said sympathetically.

"Maybe…But I'm not entirely sure I would want them to"

"Just tell them the truth Hermione. You've become like a daughter to me. You and Alex are my only family now. Draco wouldn't want you to be this unhappy. I really should have thought this through first when I asked you to move back here; but I was just so lonely"

"Oh no, please…we're happy to be here. Draco would have wanted this. It was what he asked me before he died. He wanted me to go back here and raise Alex in London. "

"I'm so grateful to you dear. Draco was so happy in the last moments of his life. You gave him so much love, a son…a family he could call his own."

"But he was still so young" Hermione sniffed. She looked at her son and she could readily see Draco's features on the boy's face

"Yes he was, only 25…but he seemed at peace with everything that was happening to him. Not once did he question his fate"

Hermione gave a half hearted laugh "He always used to say that he'd give his life many times over if he could live it the same way he did. Not once did he regret…not once did he question why…all he said was that he was glad and grateful that he had Alex and me. He said we were enough, even if it meant not growing old…it was enough… "

**At Godric's Hollow**

"Have you seen the paper yet Harry?"

"Yes, Ron. I'm fine if that's what you're gonna ask me"

"That's what you always say…Luna was worried and she wanted me to make sure you're alright"

"Can't you see Ron, I'm alright…happy even now that Hermione's back" Harry answered sarcastically.

"Look Harry…I know I'm not supposed to pry into whatever happened between you and Hermione 3 years ago when you finally found her but please make me understand, how you could throw almost 8 years of friendship down the drain"

"Damn her Ron…I loved her…I looked everywhere for her, I nearly threw everything away for her. Only to find her in the arms of Draco Malfoy"

Ron sat on the couch in front of his friend and looked at the Harry's green eyes. They seemed cold and lifeless, there were dark rings under them and the room positively reeked of alcohol. "I didn't know you still love her"

"Loved Ron, put emphasis on the past tense"

"If you're over her, then why the hell are you mucking up your life?"

"I'm not" Harry said with a wave of his hand as if to dismiss the subject.

"Hermione, might not have told me much in her letters but she did say it was hard for her to move on, and that putting distance between you two was what she thought was best"

"Ha! She didn't give me a chance to prove anything to her. She disappeared to God knows where with Draco Malfoy!"

Ron sighed and answered "From what I gathered, it was an assignment and the only reason he went with her was to keep her safe. After all, you made it his duty to protect her ever since she became an Unspeakable."

"I know that Ron, but that still doesn't change the fact that once again…Hermione decided to run my life"

"It was hers too you know"

"I know…" Harry whispered. "Seeing her on that island looking all happy made me want to hold her and I ached to touch her. But I knew something was wrong when she saw me and I saw her eyes. They were so sad as she stared at me….and then there he was. I saw as Draco bent down and kiss her and tickle her tummy. Of course, I hadn't bothered to look down and see her belly."

"So she was pregnant…and that kid on the paper"

"Yup, Draco Malfoy's son. Do you know what they named him? Alexander James Malfoy…That's right James. I punched Malfoy so hard I can still remember how my hand stung after that"

"Really? Wow, so I'm the only one who didn't get my just deserts. But if that is so, where is Malfoy?"

"That's the kicker…he died a year ago. It was all hush hush and no one really knew why. But I think it had something to do with their assignment"

"What exactly did Hermione say? You two did talk on whatever island it was, right?"

"Not really, I was basically thrown off the island but she did say that I was too late"

"I'm sorry Harry"

"Yeah, me too Ron. I wanted to explain that I did look for her…everywhere…But I was so mad and hurt and heartbroken…" Harry trailed off

"And?" Ron asked

"Well, it got ugly. I threw every damn mistake she made at her face. I said some pretty harsh things and I regret it. I just don't know how I can face her again"

"Draco _is_ dead Harry…It means you get to have a second chance with her"

"It's up to her Ron, I tried to make amends. I owled her every day for a year but all my letters were sent back. Eventually I just gave up. It was too tiring…I felt like a fool waiting for her when I knew damn well that she's happy with her new baby and Draco"

"So about Draco? Did he explain? What exactly did he say to you?"

"He sent me a letter, right before he died. I haven't opened it; that was 6 months ago."

"Maybe you should read that letter, and then see Hermione. My mum's invited her and Alex to the Burrow for dinner this Sunday. That gives you 5 days to gather your thoughts and get things straightened out"

Harry smiled and gave Ron a brotherly hug. "Thanks Ron, give Luna my love"

"You're welcome Harry. Any time you need me okay? Oh and you might like to shave, take a bath, change your clothes. You know. Tidy yourself up?"

"Yes Mum!"

After Ron left Harry went up to his room and opened the locked drawer of his desk. In it he saw, old photos of Hermione, some scarves she knitted for him, the letter she left him and then he saw it. Draco's unopened letter. He took it and sat on his bed, unsure as to what its content.

"I guess it is time…"

AN: I know..i know...quite a jump to the future...but you'll probably understand more in the succeeding chapters...for now..tell me what you think okay?


	3. Chapter 3

**Malfoy Manor**

A very odd looking bird descended upon the manor with a letter in its beak. Ever the curious toddler Alexander wanted to pet the bird. Fortunately before any damage was done to the bird Hermione was able to show the little boy how to stroke its soft feathers. After giving the bird a treat, it flew on its way to its next destination.

"Birdie, bye bye?" Alex asked.

"Yes, honey birdie bye bye." Hermione looked down on the letter before her, on the flap of the envelope she knew immediately that it was from Ron. It was an invitation, well invitations to two dinners. One was at Ron and Luna's place tonight and the other was on Sunday at the Burrow.

Hermione smiled at Alex and ask him "Want to go see your godfather?"

Alex smiled back but refuse to give an answer as he was busy playing with colorful building blocks.

"I guess I better, go write to them and tell them that we're coming." Hermione went to her desk, and took out her quill and parchment.

**Godric's Hollow**

_This is it_, thought Harry. _Whatever I'm going to find in this letter might just break my heart again or give me the right answers to my question._

_**Potter**_

_We might not have been the best of friends but I feel as if I owe you an explanation as to what has surpassed between Hermione, and I. When Hermione wanted to become an Unspeakable and you were opposed to it, you came to me and made me swear that I should protect her at all costs. And that I did, unfortunately I cannot go into details. But know this Potter, I was there when Hermione broke down on her knees crying when you proposed to Ginny, I was there for the longing stares she threw your way, I was there when she drove her self to the ground to train to be the best Unspeakable there was in order to forget you. I was there, and though it might seem that Hermione has once again decided to do what was best for everybody, in actuality it destroyed her to the point that our mission consumed her so. Voldemort seemed like a puny enemy as compared to what we went through. I know it all sounds ominous and unclear, but maybe one day when you win her back she'll tell you everything, maybe then she'll learn to share herself again. _

_I am counting on you Harry, my days are numbered I am not even sure this letter will get to you fast enough for what I want to happen. This letter will be read and dissected, then and only then shall it be given to you. But enough of that, I haven't clearly explained why she and I got together right?_

_It's pretty simple actually, what we went through pulled us together. I fell in love with her and her with me, although I must admit on some days I often wondered if her thoughts were still occupied by you. After all, you maybe as dense as a rock but you did have some good attributes. _

_I will never truly know if the depths of her feelings of me are so. But Hermione has given me the best years of my life, I don't regret any moment of it. Not even when you came and found us out. It took her 2 years to move on, but when one is faced with one's mortality we often wake up and try to live one's life. _

_In her defense, she did every damn thing she could have possibly done for you. All through our years in Hogwarts, she was at your beck and call, and not once did thank you pass on your lips. Not once did you say you loved her even just as a friend, and not once did you see the love that shone in her eyes every time she looked at you. It was pathetic and downright hurtful of you to push her away. Ever since you got together with Ginny, your whole world became her and Hermione was pushed further into the background. Did you even know that in our sixth year Ginny and Hermione fought over who knew you best? But of course you didn't. You were too busy with Voldemort, and she understood that. What actually destroyed her belief in you was when you couldn't comfort her when her parents died because Ginny was demanding your attention. Don't worry, I understand now how a consuming love can take from you, but putting that aside don't you think Hermione deserved at least some moment of your time? _

_You've got some work ahead of you and trust me when I tell you that Hermione's heart will have so many walls surrounding it, you wouldn't know where to begin beating them down. But I'm entrusting her happiness to you, just as I am entrusting my son to you. Treat them both right or by god and all that all is holy Potter I'll rise from my grave. _

_Know 3 things, Harry. first is that she's Hermione Granger; the same bushy haired girl you met on the train, secondly try to look back and reminisce of your moments together there you can retrace your steps and third humble yourself before her because what you said to her while she was pregnant almost cost us Alexander's life. _

_I love her Potter and I always will. She taught me everything I know about love and family. Let her teach you the same._

_**Yours,**__**Draco Malfoy**_

As Harry folded Draco's letter, he felt something wet fall down on his hands and he realized that he was crying. He placed it back in his desk and sat on a chair in his study. So many things became clearer to him and some was still foggy in his mind, but one thing was for sure he still and truly is in love Hermione Granger. The mistakes Draco pointed out to him were nothing new. He knew it all, but at the time he felt that in order to keep Hermione safe from Voldemort's clutches he had to push her away which he did so by keeping Ginny closer to him. He knew pretty well, that he could protect Ginny because he wont be distracted nor scared to death about the consequences because he knew in his heart he could live without Ginny he just was never sure if he could have done that without Hermione. And every one kept pointing out that he and Ginny where meant to be that he was so convinced of it too, even Hermione seemed to think of it as fate.

"I guess I do have some serious explaining to do. How do I do this? So bloody complicated…"

But of course knowing that Hermione almost lost Alexander left him breathless and his heart squeezed painfully. When he came to the island, he didn't know what he was doing. He wasn't even prepared to see her that time, he heard rumors as to where she was and was finally been given consent by Kingsley to see her that he was totally unprepared. He knew it wasn't a good enough excuse, but he was desperate and half insane when he found her.

"Still isn't a damn good excuse!"

"Talking to yourself again, son?" asked his father's portrait.

"Hmmm…just thinking out loud" Harry answered kindly. "I better leave now or I'll be late for Luna's invitation to dinner"

"Oh,okay. Take care."

"Thanks dad" said Harry as he strode down the master bath.

Unbeknownst to both Harry and Hermione they'll be seeing each other sooner than they think.

AN: So there were still grammatical errors? Really sorry guys...im out of sorts right now with school stuff i sometimes type so fast my hand coordination isnt good...anyway, here's the next chapter. Wanna know something interesting? I havent read the 7th book yet...too depressing...feels so wrong that harry potter has to end. And in this story i seem to be having an affinity for writing letters...hehehe...its been so long since i've written any type of fiction...seems i'm getting rusty. But thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming, its so good to hear from all of you. oh and the reason why i re uploaded all the chapters was because i edited them but apparently you had to delete the past chapters as well...i'm really sorry...


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